10 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Fail
Hey, friend! If you're here, you've already taken on the HUGE undertaking of forming a New Year's resolution. First of all, cheers to you! Their is nothing like having a fresh start and setting new intentions for the year ahead. The New Year is always so helpful in giving us time to reflect on how we have been going about our lives lately and figuring out what we want to continue forward, what we want to leave behind, and what new things we want to start doing!
However . . . resolutions can sometimes be really intimidating. You may have set dozens in the past and seen them fail time and time again. Or, maybe you've heard about all the statistics, about people not sticking to them for long. So, what’s the point?
I’m here to tell you that there is NOTHING wrong with setting New Year Resolutions. It’s no different then setting goals at any other time of the year. If anything, it helps us keep the big picture in mind of what we want for our life! It is just important to consider how we go about them and the expectations we set for ourselves.
So, today, I'm breaking down the main reasons New Year's resolutions fail so you can navigate these along the way and set yourself up for success and contentment around your goals! Here’s what you need to know:
10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail
You start too big.
Here's one that gets a lot of people. When they go to make their resolutions, they’re filled with motivation and inspiration. Which is GREAT! But then there is no clear game plan on where to start and how to break that big goal down. Next thing you know, they’re burned out by February trying to do too much too soon.
Sound familiar? SO, this isn’t saying your goal is too big, but to make sure you have a game plan in place on how to break that up in to reasonable bite size chunks. Then analyze, can this be completed realistically in a year’s time? Again, that’s okay if it’s not! But what we don’t want is to get our hopes up that it will when realistically it might take more time.
So wanting to lose 50 lbs or eliminate $100,000 of debt are GREAT goals. Just be sure to create a plan about how much weight loss per month is healthy and realistic, or how much debt each month you can really pay off or pay down. It might take more time and that’s OK! Keep the goal there, and take your time building the habits and the lifestyle it takes to get there. :)
Big resolutions can be super discouraging because we want to be there today and it’ll take lots of work and time to get there. Allow yourself the gift of time and try to find joy and happiness in the process so you’re not upset all this time until you get there!
It’s too vague or too specific.
When you set a goal, it’s important to have specificity but also flexibility. It should be clear what you want to accomplish, but not so much pressure that you have to be so exact about it.
Having vague resolutions in mind, "More self care" or "Save more.” are great aspirations! Let’s take it a step further. What actions are required to experience more self care? What changes do we need to make about our money habits to be able to save more? Building those specifics will help you know how to get after it each day. Then, use data like a tracking system to help you see tangible progress!
Keep in mind, you don't want to go too far the other way either. Having a super specific goal like, "Workout twice a day for an hour each at 6:00am and 7:00 pm" or “Track my spending on my budget on Friday mornings from 8:45am-9:00am” could definitely set you up for too much pressure. Again, these are not bad goals! But give yourself breathing room. What happens if you don’t do that task exactly at that time? Sometimes we don’t do it at all because we don’t envision any flexibility around it. This leads to an all or nothing approach, and that doesn’t help! Life happens, allow yourself some flexibility that if it doesn’t happen at this exact hour, here’s my game plan instead!
BONUS TIP: Track your progress and achievements with objective data. With any goal you set, it’s important to be sure you can measure progress!
You don't remove anything. Just add.
Let’s just be real honest for just a second. No one—I mean NO ONE "does it all." I really hate that phrase, because it makes us resent everyone we see doing awesome things! Especially on social media. This makes you doubt whether you even have what it takes to reach your goals.
Know this; you and I have the same amount of hours in the day just like everyone else and each with our own shuffled deck of life’s circumstances. The truth is NO ONE does it all. It’s important to realize that we need to delegate some other tasks, or just let them fall off all together, so you can prioritize what’s most important to you.
So when you see that amazingly powerful woman at your corporate job, it’s likely that she’s giving up time with her kids or time for herself. Or that girl working from home, it’s likely she’s giving up a lot of social interaction, and feeling like she’s living back in COVID days.
Or, what about that rockstar mom that just seems to have everything figured out? She makes her own baby food, uses cloth diapers, and only buys Montessori toys, of course. Well, her house is a mess. She prioritizes other things and doesn't get the dishes done every night. In fact, she doesn't do them most nights.
The point is, no one does it all. Don't expect to do it all! If you're adding to your plate, you might very well have to cut something out. That's okay! Don't feel like a failure if you have to hire a cleaner, do cold sandwiches for dinner a few nights a week, or cancel that weekly friend commitment. Remove what’s least important for this season so you can prioritize what’s most important to you!
You don't prepare for the first failure.
Imagine creating a new habit tracker for 2023, and EVERY day of the year you hit your goals and check those boxes. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Of course! And, as your coach, I would be SO proud.
But, that's probably not going to happen. More than likely, you'll fail 1, 2, 10, 20, maybe even 100 times at your goal. However, that first time you skip that healthy meal for a Chick-Fil-A night or go over budget on grocery spending, don't throw in the towel and say, "I'll try next year."
That one failure doesn't define the success of the resolution. Progress is important. Progress is improvement. Go for better and keep striving forward after each failure. It’s all about progress and not about perfection. So if your goal is to eat less fast food, 3 times is better than the previous 5 times you were doing. Or $300 over budget is better than the previous $500.
As I always say, don’t expect perfection. In this case, actually expect failure, and make a plan for how to handle it before it arrives.
Your goals are too idealistic.
We have all imagined it . . . that serene morning routine that starts with yoga, then moves to a delicious freshly made brunch, followed by 20 minutes of reading, then a 10 minute meditation, and finally ends with a 30 minute journaling and reflection session. All of this happens with the sun beaming in through the window and peaceful piano music playing in the background.
That sounds GREAT. However, expecting this ideal scenario ALL THE TIME, is not practical. Your energy will fluctuate. You’ll wake up 45 min after your alarm. Your child maybe had a bad night and you were up 3 times and got hardly any sleep, or you straight up just want donuts and kholaches for breakfast today and not the eggs and avocado.
Your circumstances will change. There is no way your ideal workout, financial plan, morning routine, or creative process is going to play out perfectly every day.
Instead, remember that five minutes matters. Don’t forget that doing a little bit is better than doing nothing at all. If, after a terrible night’s sleep, your morning routine for the day is just breakfast and mediation, count that as a win. Don't get discouraged by the idealistic version of your resolution and instead focus on your efforts.
The stress is too much.
Even when we're working toward a difficult resolution, we should still find moments of happiness or gratitude throughout. Will it be hard sometimes? Absolutely! I’m not saying to be happy when you’re sitting there annoyed about wanting ice cream and you’re eating an apple instead. But your resolution should NOT cause you so much stress that you are totally miserable.
If you're stressed, anxious, and guilty every day because of your new goal, it's okay to let that goal go. For instance, being a new mom who has her own business and takes care of her child full time, it’s too much for me to say I’m going to work 40 hours a week and see as many clients as I did prior to having a baby.
So, instead of expecting that my work life is going to look like it did pre-motherhood, I’ve let that expectation go and cut that in half. I’m prioritizing time with my son and still doing work that I love! It just looks different but that’s okay. :)
So, before you commit to your goal, ask yourself if it's going to be fulfilling, or if it's going to be a crushing burden. This New Year's resolution should excite you today AND excite you six months into your journey!
You didn’t write it down.
Your goal needs to be posted somewhere. A person is 42% more likely to fulfill their goals when they write them down. That’s a seriously crazy increase in the rate of success!
Writing down goals really works. It narrows your focus, creates an opportunity for reflection, and often there is some motivating factor. A habit tracker drives you forward every time you fill in that bubble. A vision board gives you hope and motivation each time you look at your wants.
The point is, you need your resolutions written. It makes them REAL when you do that! However, be thoughtful about where and how you jot it down. Don’t write them in a journal that just gets shoved in the closet. Think of a board on the wall or a planner you refer to daily as a couple examples!
You don't have accountability.
We all know self-discipline is hard. We beat ourselves up all the time for not having it. In fact, we don't tell people we're writing a book, changing our eating habits, working out, or paying off debt, because we're afraid that when we don't stick to it, we'll be judged for our failure. This means we go at it totally alone so we can avoid the embarressment or shame.
Almost EVERYONE struggles with this problem. It’s nerve wracking to tell others sometimes (and you don’t have to be super specific), but do tell someone! No need to hop on social media and tell the world (Unless you want to, more power to you!). But whoever you tell, they can help you stay encouraged and keep you on track. They can push you and motivate you when you don't have the drive to do it yourself.
If you’re like me who is someone who STRUGGLES to ask for help, I’m here to tell you that it’s A-OK to ask for it. In fact, way more people would have achieved their past annual resolutions if they included some accountability build in it! Not only were they more likely to achieve the goal, but they were also more likely to stick with it for the long term!Over all the other reasons on this list, this one is the biggest contributing factor I see for people's failure to reach their goals.
You don’t re-evaluate throughout the year.
Are you someone who draws up a beautiful vision board every year and then never looks at it again? I’ve seen this a handful of times where people get really excited, set these goals, share their hopes and dreams, and then never talk about it again like it’s just a dream.
Don’t let this be you this year! A conversation and vision board is where it starts but it can’t end here! It’s important to set your game plan in place, start implementing, and check in on your progress! Whether this be your habit tracker, your friend, a coach, whoever! Find some way to revisit, and re-evaluate as you go forward.
Maybe you’re right on track and NAILING IT! Maybe there are things you haven’t even started, or things you wrote down that are no longer relevant. This re-evaluation should help keep you in check to make sure you are walking the path that’s right for you as life comes your way!
You don’t give yourself the time to stay committed.
Something I’ve learned in this last year becoming a mother is being patient with myself. Patient with my recovery after giving birth, patient with myself as I returned back to work, patient with myself that my goals were going to take me more time.
Don’t get discouraged if you’re weight loss takes you more time, or paying off debt takes you more time. When we allow that to discourage us or set expectations to get it done in half the time it really takes, we stop all together.
With the instantaneous world we live in, and a world where we see what everyone is doing all the time, it’s so easy to get defeated when we aren’t where we want to be yet. I’m speaking to myself as well!
For you and I, it’s important we keep in mind WHY we are working on these goals and what the process is really going to look like. When you have a strong purpose and understand what the day in and day out life is going to look like, we can be more patient with ourselves.
Make this year different.
I can’t emphasize enough the power of finding an accountability partner or coach! Friends are wonderful resources to help encourage and motivate you, while coaches can help you build that strategic plan and keep you on track with taking ACTION!
Check out these crazy statistics. After just a few months with a coach, studies found that 80% of people felt more self-confident, 73% of people saw improvements in their relationships, and 70% of people were more productive than years without a coach. Wow! Coaches make a powerful impact on peoples lives. This is why I love what I do!
Achieve your New Year's Resolutions this year by avoiding these common goal-setting mistakes.
Your goals matter. Your dreams matter. And, no matter what you think about yourself right now, you CAN achieve your New Years Resolutions with the right approach and guidance.
Avoid the problems above, and hire a coach to help you conquer your dreams, stay motivated, and see real change in the new year.
At Core Life Habits, achieving your goals doesn’t have to happen alone. We offer Nutrition Coaching, Personal Training, and Financial Coaching programs that help you create effective and personalized plans that meet you at your starting point and help you reach the finish line! If you need someone for your health or money, you are in the right place! We can’t wait to meet you :)
